Ukraine: Days 4-6

              Super awesome kids who God made to be loved in Saknofscheena.....'Don't Forget Me'..

 After our days with the orphaned kids in the villages of Loubetin and Sakhnovsheena outside of Kharkov, we enjoyed a Sunday church service at Love and Salvation, one of the  churches we used to attend. It was really amazing to see that this non-denominational Christ-focused church has not only survived, but thrived. in the past years. The pastor, our friend Genna, was still preaching and had the same calm but powerful presence that we remembered.  Paul was asked to share about why we had come back to Kharkov, and although his Russian is fairly good, Genna translated Paul's charge for the church to care for  orphans (Yay, Paul!).  After the service, we were swarmed with people wanting to see Natalie....the little brown-eyed waif they had known so many years ago.  I think it was a bit awkward for Natalie as people were speaking to me in Russian while looking and smiling at her. Although she couldn't understand  what was being said, she knew very well that it was about her! Great teen-age moment she won't soon forget!

Natalie and the city she LOVES...Kharkov!

That evening we had a meal with the orphan grads who are living in Lifesong's Transition Home II.  The significance of the beauty, cleanliness, and safety of this home spoke volumes about how these kids are valued by the Lifesong ministry team....it wasn't just 'good enough for them'...it was truly good!.  The best part of our time there was hanging out with the kids, talking to them about what they are studying in school, what kind of music they like, and what tricks they can do (communication is so much more than words!), all the while encouraging them in our limited Russian to use their limited English.  I think it was frustrating for Natalie to not be 'in' on the conversations and it was beginning to wear on her more than a little.  She had hoped that occasionally listening to Russian lessons in the car over the past 6 months would have given her a good base...but with Russian, and perhaps most languages with a different alphabet, that is just not the case.  We tried to include her, but very often we were working very hard to communicate ourselves, so translating for her wasn't easy and often frustrated her more.

Zhennya walking on his hands!                                           Transition Home II 

                                                                                                               Denis and Tanya with their two boys in front

The following day Denis Poshelok, Lifesong's Ukrainian director,  took us to the place we first met Natalie, Baby House #1 (has a warm ring to it, doesn't it?).  On the way, Denis told us not to use our Russian, that he would translate.  We're still not sure why, especially since the orphanage director had known us previously and knew that Paul, at least, had a decent command of the language. But, when in Rome :-).....We met with the director, a woman who wears lots of sparkle and is known for her body hugging clothing.  She was kind, but reserved, and expressed her appreciation of us bringing Natalie to see her.  Natalie was able to ask the director if she knew if she had any siblings that had been through the orphanage.  She said she did not remember any children with Natalie's biological family's name, but said that she wouldn't be able to say anyway because of Ukraine's many privacy laws.  This was disappointing for Natalie and for us, but that is just the first chapter in that story, so we'll wait to see what God does in the future.

Paul, Natalie and Me at Baby House #1                                        Director and Natalie                           

 We took a tour of the orphanage and, quite frankly, even though there was talk of all the improvements that have been made, the orphanage looked almost identical in every way to how it looked when we left with Natalie as a 16 months old baby. While some of the larger cities in Ukraine, and especially Kharkov, where we used to live, have become more modern and like other cities in Europe, the villages and the orphanages have stayed almost exactly as we remembered them 16 years ago.  Although the rooms at the orphanage have some newer toys, they are still kept out of reach of the children.  Although they have added sensory integration toys such as a small ball pit and large riding toys to the 'play room' the kids are brought in only for short periods of time for supervised play.There were no children in any of the play areas we toured.  Everything is kept in order...again, that Soviet mindset of making sure everything 'looks' good regardless of the reality of the situation. If the toys are played with they will look 'used' and get broken, and the director's job might be in jeopardy if 'things' aren't in order.

Baby House #1

 In one of the baby rooms, Group 9, one small angel, about a year and a half old, was alone in the gated area and being quarantined because she had some healing burns on her neck and arm from an abusive home situation. When you touch a small child who has been institutionalized, one of the things you notice most is that the child is not used to being held or having anything to hold in their hands.  Their body posture is stiff and their hands don't know how to grasp objects or curl around a finger.  It brings out a deep sadness in me because touching is 'free' and these kids just don't know what it is like to be held, rocked, played with, sung to or laughed with.  Those things don't cost money, but these children are considered 'untouchable' and they are forever scarred by the lack of gentle human touch.

Right now there are fewer children in the orphanages across the country of Ukraine than there were 16 years ago. This is not a reflection of fewer orphaned or abandoned children, but more a reflection of a 'strong suggestion' from local governments that children not be taken to the orphanages.  Again, this is more of the Soviet mindset that still permeates Ukrainian thinking.  In order to make the crisis of orphaned and abandoned children 'appear' less of a crisis than it is, the local governments discourage people from bringing children who cannot be cared for to the orphanage.could care for a child whose parents aren't present.  However, if a relative would actually prefer to NOT care for that child, then the child will remain in a situation where he is neglected or abused because he is simply not wanted. There is no 'village' mentality in Ukraine....it's everyone for himself. Approximately 2/3 of the orphans in Ukraine are considered 'social orphans' having either one or both parents or some extended family member who could care for them but cannot do so because of finances, alcoholism or drugs, abuse, or other social conditions.

  

Typical apartment housing

When we left Baby House #1, we drove to an address we had for Natalie's biological mother from some of her adoption documents, realizing it was a long-shot.  Denis found the apartment building fairly easily although it was about 20 minutes drive outside the city of Kharkov. The building was pretty typical of the apartment complexes in Ukraine, many storied rectangular buildings in poor condition, with obscure entrances leading to dark hallways.  Once inside there are two to three apartment doors to each floor.  Denis went to look for the apartment number listed on the address and Paul, Natalie, and I prayed in the car.  It was kind of a surreal several minutes as we were all wondering what the next moments might hold.  Although no one had been at home when Denis rang the bell, he said it did look as if someone lived there.  We agreed for him to follow up with "people he knows" to see if Natalie's biological mother is still living in Kharkov.

We then drove to go see the trade school dormitories in a different section of town.  I had heard of the conditions of the dorms and had imagined what they were like, but truly nothing could have prepared me for what we saw.  As impoverished as many areas in Ukraine are, we went to what could only be called a 'ghetto within a ghetto'....an area where the buildings looked uninhabited and uninhabitable.  And, as if on cue, the skies grayed over and it started to rain, which really added to my 'creeped-out-ness'.  Denis parked the car and told us we would go in quickly and quietly...we weren't to talk, just follow him quickly. "Could we take pictures?", I asked.  "We'll see", was all he said....and I didn't know if that meant we'll just SEE, as in don't take pictures, or we'll SEE if we can take pictures...cuz that's one of those language things that you don't know the real meaning of, you see??? :-)  When we entered the building I took one breath and automatically started breathing through my mouth in shallow breaths.  The stench of urine, trash, and who knows what else was nauseating.   I honestly can't use words to describe the hell hole we walked through, and the pictures (we took them, see?) don't tell all, but I can't imagine anyone living in these conditions, and especially not a 15 or 16 year old, and especially not a girl without  protection and especially not an orphan without family....and especially not any of the kids I met, some of whom will live here, and some of whom will die here. And this is why this paragraph had to have a little humor in it, because the reality is really unbelievable...and probably my parents shouldn't read this paragraph.  Yes, they should have definitely skipped this paragraph.

Trades school 'Dormitories'.....ghetto hell

I hate to end on a low note, and the trades school dorms were definitely the 'low note' of our trip, although I am so grateful that Denis took us to see what I had only imagined before. This last set of pictures are from the city of Kharkov, and I can't help but notice the contrast in the above 'orphan experience' pictures, to the experience of 'regular' people in Ukraine.  The chasm between the 'least of these' and the rest of us so very great....it makes my 'five bucks' cup of coffee a little hard to swallow.

Reasons Natalie could survive in Kharkov:

Coffee, books, shoppping!